Unconditional love.

Have you ever experienced a moment in which your beliefs decide to reveal themselves to you through a conversation? Like, you start engaging in a conversation, and your head and heart spark with passion. This feeling fills up your body and you start speaking about your beliefs and throughout this process, you realize some new ones you never thought you had.

I had one of those conversations yesterday and the context of it was unconditional love. I started talking about love with a few friends and throughout the conversation I understood more clearly the way I defined unconditional love. I uncovered my beliefs about what this type of love means for me. The interetsing part was that this conversation also helped me pinpoint the beliefs I have regarding people and them being subject to change.

So one of my friends challenged me by saying…

There is no such thing as unconditional love. People can change, so how can you know that you will love them forever? How do you know in what way the change they might go through will affect the love you have for them?

Then my answer was, that basically anyone can change their habits, their mindset and their lifestyle, preferences, standards. I believe that someone can completely transform their life. However, I also believe that if you have grown to truly love a person, you love them for all that they are. And all that they are goes way beyond the lifestyle, the mindset and their habits. Who they truly are, deep down in their core is always there. Pure and beautiful.

Therefore, if you truly love them for that beauty and complexity that exists within them, I don’t think you’ll be able to stop loving them. Maybe even if they turn out to be this negative person you never thought they would become, and you might end up not liking them, not wanting to hang out with them as much, or you might even want to completely block them out of your life, you will probably still love them…

I went on saying that unconditional love is loving someone for no reason. It is when you can’t explain why you love them. Not in a romantic way, but more in the context of loving somone for all that they are and not for what they might provide to you, or the reasons you like them. Love is something very beautiful. It is seeing the other person’s deepest fears, and scariest secrets and most wonderful vulnerabilities and loving them about them.

It is about accepting the person, as they are; not loving them for who they make you be, or how they make you feel. Don’t get me wrong, these are important components of love I believe. But if you love the way someone makes you feel, and that is your ‘reason’ for loving them, then my advice is to pay some more attention to who they truly are. Love them about them. Focus on them. With all your heart. With expecting nothing. And with no reason at all.

--

--

Just a Psychology student, writing about what I love the most!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store